Even though I walk through the valley of the death and dying...I will not fear.

Well it seems as if I haven't posted in a while, so here we go.

Kyle and I just got back from a trip to Clearwater, FL. The circumstances that brought us home were undesirable, however it was a blessing to be with family. My grandmommy passed away about 2 weeks ago, and we went home for her funeral. It was and still is very difficult to swallow the reality that she is gone. She originally went to the hospital for a somewhat common procedure (blood transfusion), but while she was there things all of a sudden went downhill. She already had a bad heart and lung, and various stress and infections she got while at the hospital took a final toll on her life. I did get a chance to talk with her on the phone...very briefly. It saddens my heart though that I did not get to see her while she was in the hospital...but what comforts me is that my last memory of her was at Christmastime, where she was doing very well and was her normal, loving, grandmotherly self. I miss her...a lot.

I have a really hard time with death. I mean, most normal people do...but the thought and reality of death and dying is really really hard for me to wrap my head and heart around. I know that when I die I will immediately be in the presence of Jesus Christ, but even in light of that truth, for some reason I still have a hard time being comforted and at peace with the process of dying. It really scares me. I guess it's just the realm of the unknown that is most scary. Even though my eternity is secure, the process of getting there is completely up in the air and out of my control...and I don't like that. I just pray that the Lord will give me the peace I need when this fear creeps in. Something that gives me a little comfort is that my grandmommy even admitted, "This dying thing is really hard to do." But she knew that the Lord would give her the strength she needed to face it. And he certainly did. She's with Him now! What's also pretty cool is that she is with Granddaddy too. I immediately pictured them embracing one another and dancing together. She really missed him these past 10 years...but not anymore.

I could keep writing about this topic...but I think that dwelling on it is making me frustrated and sad...so I think I'm just gonna leave this post at that.







I love you Grandmommy and look forward to the time when we get to be together again...and have a tea party. A really big one...