Today has been a sad day. I mean, the activities that I have participated in today aren't out of the ordinary and were quite fun and happy...woke up, had breakfast, went to the Lex. Farmer's Market, came back home and took a nap, and am now sitting in Starbucks (soon, my friends, this Starbucks sitting will come to an end!)
What has made this day sad were two events that I actually had nothing to do with...two events that happened within the last 24 hours...two events concerning love.
My heart was and has been burdened for two people today. Two people that I'm not even sure are really hurting...but my guess is that if anything there is certainly a tinge of pain.
I know that God has everything in control, and He sees the bigger picture that we do not. But right now, I know that that truth is FAR from comforting.
I've mentioned in a previous entry that I struggle with the desire to have control over everything in my life. This desire for control extends to the lives of those I love. Friend, I wish that I could change things and make them how you and I wish and think they should be. I wish that I could help write the story and give you your happy ending. Because I love you and you deserve nothing less.
It has truly been hard for me today to acknowledge that your happy endings seemed to go to the wrong people. My heart has been angry and frustrated because I just believed, hoped, and prayed as much as you did that things would change...that what appeared to be happening wouldn't really happen...and all would be ok again.
I want you to know that I have never forgotten about you. When it felt like the world didn't care anymore about your hurt, and everyone moved on and accepted how things now were, I didn't forget.
When it comes to love, moving on is no easy task. Yes, there will come a time when God will nudge you to get up, dust off your knees, wipe away your tears, and walk in His strength to find the greater gift that he has had in store for you...that has been waiting for you just beyond the pain of this unbearable reality. There will come a time when you are ready...but that time may not be today...and that's ok.
But friend, please do not give up. When you feel him nudging, please be willing to give it a try. Please be willing to accept that God does have something better for you! Please be willing to take that step with Him, because I know He wants to bless you with GOOD things. But you will never know if you are not willing to take the first step...
My heart goes out to you...
I love you both. So much!!!
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. -Psalm 34:18.
